![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I'm getting better at being social
Sep. 29th, 2015 01:59 pmLast night at Peter's open house, the school locked the gate and wouldn't let any parents in until precisely at 7pm. I was about 10 minutes early because evening traffic is much lighter than morning traffic, but I allowed morning drive time. (As another parent said, "It's the difference between night and day, literally!")
It quickly became clear that those few parents standing outside were going to hang around staring at each other, and shortly people were going to be pulling out their phones and not talking.
Not that I've become an extrovert, and not that I enjoy being social with other people I don't know who might judge me and my choices in life, but I've come to find value in relationships with people, and the only way to have them is to be the one who facilitates them sometimes.
So I boldly started the conversation, "So what classroom is your child in?"
That was all that was needed really. The other mom told me, and asked me the same question in response, then we used our body language to invite the other two parents who were standing at odd angles about 6-8 feet away into the newly begun conversation and share their names and children's ages and grades.
From there we talked about how long we'd been at the school and how not every school is a fit for every child, and basically managed to politely pass the time until the school opened the doors.
When I was in junior high through high school, when faced with a similar situation, I would have pulled out a book and ignored everyone unless someone specifically talked to me, and if they did, I would have interpreted their actions as likely to be hostile, as though they were just looking for some action on my part to occur that they could make fun of to their friends later.
It wasn't until college that I viewed unfamiliar people as potential friends I hadn't met yet, as opposed to likely enemies I needed to make sure I didn't make myself the target of.
It's a skill, like coding or chemistry, that some people are naturally better at, and some people are more naturally drawn to enjoying practicing it. When I look back at my life, I'm proud to say I've leveled up in this area.
--Beth
It quickly became clear that those few parents standing outside were going to hang around staring at each other, and shortly people were going to be pulling out their phones and not talking.
Not that I've become an extrovert, and not that I enjoy being social with other people I don't know who might judge me and my choices in life, but I've come to find value in relationships with people, and the only way to have them is to be the one who facilitates them sometimes.
So I boldly started the conversation, "So what classroom is your child in?"
That was all that was needed really. The other mom told me, and asked me the same question in response, then we used our body language to invite the other two parents who were standing at odd angles about 6-8 feet away into the newly begun conversation and share their names and children's ages and grades.
From there we talked about how long we'd been at the school and how not every school is a fit for every child, and basically managed to politely pass the time until the school opened the doors.
When I was in junior high through high school, when faced with a similar situation, I would have pulled out a book and ignored everyone unless someone specifically talked to me, and if they did, I would have interpreted their actions as likely to be hostile, as though they were just looking for some action on my part to occur that they could make fun of to their friends later.
It wasn't until college that I viewed unfamiliar people as potential friends I hadn't met yet, as opposed to likely enemies I needed to make sure I didn't make myself the target of.
It's a skill, like coding or chemistry, that some people are naturally better at, and some people are more naturally drawn to enjoying practicing it. When I look back at my life, I'm proud to say I've leveled up in this area.
--Beth
