beth_leonard

My 2nd Degree Black Belt Test is Fri-Saturday Dec. 11-12, 2020 over zoom. The part that family and friends are invited to watch is Saturday 1-3pm. Let me know if you would like a link, and I'll send it. Mostly though, I'm both proud of and embarrassed by my open form. I'm proud of it, because I've spent a long time working on it and there are some tricky parts to it, and I think it looks pretty good in comparison to some of the people I'm testing with, but embarrassed by it because I know which things I could do better: I didn't work as hard as I could have and prioritize my training, but I had to stop recording at some point and call it "done."




--Beth

I am pledging to re-post anything I post to FB to Dream Width in order to make sure there's more content here.

Does anyone want to join us for dinner tonight for a dining fundraiser? We'll be eating at Holder's Country Inn, 998 S. De Anza Blvd, San Jose around 6pm. (right across the street from the Home Depot that I think of as being in Cupertino).

This is to support the church Relay-For-Life anti-cancer team.

I have now migrated to Dreamwidth from LiveJournal. This is a public test post. It should be visible to the general public, in addition to my friends.

If you are my RL friend (or someone with whom I am friends on LJ), you should also see an "access list" test post, similar to my LJ "friends" security setting, and you should be able to see all my "friends" entries from LJ.

If you do not see such a post, please leave a note and let me know so that I can try to fix the problem.

I have not yet made any custom groups on DW, so I have not yet made a similar post to a custom group. Don't worry, you haven't missed it (yet)!

I'm not sure how well my protected entries ported over from LJ to DW, so if entries you could see on LJ have disappeared, let me know.

--Beth

I'll admit it up front, this is a pat-myself-on-the back post, but I'm proud of what happened this week. I feel like actions I intentionally took in the past help seed a positive culture, and the path from point A to C had to go through B. I think helping people live in a positive and supportive culture is the best thing we can do for our country and the world.
I'm proud that one of my kids at Santa Maria gave $0.50 of "free book" money to another kid who was more of an acquaintance than a friend, asking nothing in return. For some students, this altruism might have happened without help, but I don't think it would have for this particular kid.

At Santa Maria about 4 years ago I started doing the Scholastic Book club with the students. In exchange for good attendance, they were given $7/month in free book money to spend. If they were absent on book order day, it rolled over to the next month, and if there wasn't a book they wanted, or one that was more expensive than $7, they could "save up" the money for the following month.

Other than that, I had a "use it or lose it" policy. Kids could spend $6 on a book they wanted, but couldn't save the extra $1. They could give it to another student, however. Kids would frequently work together to get the books they wanted, and I remember the look of absolute joy I saw on a 1st grader's face when she was able to give $1 away to an older student to help him get the book he wanted.

Letting students earn something of value that they had control over was one of my goals (in addition to the math practice of buying books you can afford and having the experience of promises kept over a span of weeks; I've mailed books to kids who have moved away.) I wanted a culture of sharing as well as a culture of saving.

The use it or lose it policy helped develop a culture of sharing. Some students arguably abused it by finding out who had leftovers and asking for it, sometimes getting up to $5 from others. Others routinely gave half or more of their money away, but did so with pride.
Once the culture was in place, I updated my spreadsheets to allow kids to save-up partial amounts, starting last year. I wondered what would happen to the culture of sharing? The older students still routinely share, and the younger ones are learning it's possible. And that student who frequently received $5 from others? She gave $0.50 away this month. With pride.

I'm doing spotlights for Amber's show, and you're supposed to bring a heat-proof glove because those lights get hot enough to burn you. One of the other spots people showed us a scar from a previous show. Despite having reminded myself 3 times during the day not to forget, I forgot my gloves in the house and didn't remember until just after we'd gotten on the freeway -- too late to turn back.

Sometimes you can get away with not having a glove if your cues are short, but they gave me the job of being center spot on Alice, which is on for nearly the whole show. I had remembered my crochet bag, so during our half-hour break I did some emergency crochet work and made myself a suitable spotlight mitten. It fits like a glove! I'm so proud of myself, I thought I'd share. There is a use to all these hobby skills I'm learning.



--Beth

Sometimes it's easier to write things out than to lie awake thinking about what I'd write. At Peter's parent visiting day, the children were given an optional assignment by the drama teacher to write articles for the newspapers that the kids are going to have printed for the Upper Elementary production of "Newsies." These are filler articles, but they might actually get read. Parents and kids were encouraged to contribute complete articles over the next several weeks that fit the topics "5 tips for..." or "How to..." or "8 Reasons to..." I received the distinct impression she wasn't expecting many submissions, and wordiness is not a problem.

I couldn't help brainstorming and now committing to paper the following tips. Some of these are from college, others are ones I've learned along the way.

5 tips for great conversations
by Peter Leonard's mom

Have you ever walked up to a group of people and felt like they didn't want you there? Have you ever felt uncomfortable and embarrassed talking to someone? or accidentally made someone else feel embarrassed while talking to you? Would you like to become excellent at and comfortable with talking to others? Here are 5 tips for having a great conversation:

#1. The 2-minute linger rule: Whenever you approach a group of people who are already talking, linger and listen without saying anything for at least 2 minutes. Resist the temptation to jump in and say, "Who are you talking about? What happened?" If you linger for 2 full minutes, chances are that just by listening you'll figure out from context what happened. It's like solving a mystery from the clues. If after 2 minutes, you still can't figure it out, or the other people haven't asked what you need, then it's ok to interrupt and ask questions. If you linger before you leap in and talk, people will not look annoyed when you come near them.

#2. The 10-hour looks rule: Never comment on or ask about someone's looks until after you have had 10 hours of conversations with them, unless they bring it up first. This is generally true about people's clothing, but it is especially true about things a person can't change, such as baldness, skin color, physical disabilities, or wearing glasses. If the checkout clerk at the grocery store has a big scar on her cheek, don't comment on it. Even saying something nice like, "That scar makes you look so cool!" can be annoying to the other person, because she probably hears comments like that 10 times a day. Your comment is not unique or helpful. Bite your tongue unless they look seriously ill and you can help.

After you have known a person for a while, and eaten lunch together for an hour a day for 2 weeks -- talked about different things for at least 10 hours -- if you find you still must know about the part of them that looks unique, only then you may comment. If a friend gets a new haircut, it's ok to say, "Do you like your new haircut?" but if you see a stranger with an unusual cut, don't say anything, because you don't know what led to it, and what might make them feel bad.

#3. The pets conversation: If you can't talk about other people's looks, and you don't know them, what can you talk about? Here's a great conversation starter: "This morning my pet...." Fill in the blank with the best thing your pet did all day. "... ate all his food and gave me cute puppy eyes when he wanted more," or "... jumped up on the counter and knocked over a glass of water." Before you've finished speaking, everyone you're trying to talk to will want to share stories of their pets.

#4. The YouTube video conversation: What if you don't have a pet? Surely you've seen a YouTube video. These can be harder to describe, so you might want to practice summarizing it before you join a group and start talking. "Yesterday I saw the funniest YouTube video about a brother and sister who could play the piano while sitting backwards. My sister would never do that with me." If no one else responds with a video that they like, you can add, "What's the best video you've ever seen?" This gets the conversation going and it can branch out to many different topics. People can talk about piano or other YouTube videos.

#5. Listen and make eye contact: Don't forget to listen. Starting a conversation with people you don't know well is wonderful, but make sure that you're not the only one doing the talking. If there are 4 people, you'll be talking at most 1/4 of the time and listening 3/4 of the time. Try to pay attention to what they're saying, and not just thinking about what you'll say next. Trust yourself to say what you want to say when your turn comes. Make eye contact with the person speaking, instead of looking around or looking past them. Even if they're talking to the whole group and not specifically looking back at you, they can tell if you are not interested. They're more likely to look at you and give you another turn to speak when they're done if you're looking directly at them.


...
I feel like it needs a closing sentence, but that will have to inspire me another day.

Amber is loving doing theater! Her next musical is "Honk" and pre-sale tickets for VIP season ticket holders are on-sale now. i.e. I can buy you a ticket before they go on sale for the parents this Friday at 10am. There are 3 casts with 69 kids each, and each cast only does 3 performances, so tickets will go quickly.

Tickets cost about $20 each, slightly less for kids, slightly more for adults by the time you include ticketing fees. Let me know if you would like me to pick some up for you.
Her shows are:

Friday 2/26 7pm
Saturday 2/27 Noon (my parents and Peter are seeing this one)
Sunday 2/28 3pm (Jon, Peter, and I are seeing this one)

Amber is a part of the hatchery. In other words, for this show she is dancing poultry so if you're going to pick a show to skip, this might be it. I have tremendous respect for the director and artistic staff, so I'm sure it will be a great show. Amber loves it when people come out to see her perform.

If you want to buy your own "friends and family" tickets directly starting Friday, here's the link:

https://cmt.vbotickets.com/event/Honk/10555
--Beth

I have finally joined the land of the living and purchased a smartphone to replace the iPod touch/$6 per month flip phone combo I had been using. "Why," you ask?

In part, because I lost my old phone somewhere in the house, and in part because now that Apple has unlocked the iPhones I can now get a $15/month plan as part of my parents' family plan. For that monthly price, it's worth it. I couldn't justify spending $70/month for services I almost never use.

Now hopefully I'll stop losing my phone because it will fit in my beltclip where I've never lost my iPod touch. It will also be much easier to text now that I have somewhat of a keyboard.

Does the iPhone have a swipy mode like the Android devices? The auto correct isn't very good yet.

--Beth
[posted from my iPhone]

EDIT TO ADD: It appears that although it says it has one dot worth of signal at the house, it doesn't actually appear to have enough signal to have a phone conversation, and texts may or may not be delivered. :-( So if you want to contact me, your best bet is still to call our home line or send e-mail, as always.

I'm thankful for Scholastic Book Clubs.

I'm thankful Peter has matured so much over the last 3 months.

I'm thankful Amber's play is over.

I'm thankful Amber's play was awesome, so I didn't mind seeing it 3 times and wanted to see it a fourth.

I'm thankful for Jon, who let me have a half-day to myself at Disneyland.

I'm thankful for seeing friends at Disneyland.

I'm thankful for snow in the mountains.

I'm thankful for tae kwon do classes.

I am thankful for many, many, more things and people.

--Beth

I lost my phone on the day before Halloween.

Today I found it in the cupboard in the kitchen on top of a large stack of chocolate.

My chocolate is calling to me. Literally.

--Beth

Certified Incurable Chocoholic