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beth_leonardI remember some time ago one of my friends posting in their blog that they were the extroverted child of introverted parents, in the Myers-Briggs, "where do you get your energy?" sense of the words. Now I can't remember who it was who said this. If it was you, I'd love some tips for the introverted parent of an extroverted toddler. What does he need most? How can I meet those needs without going insane?
He's wonderful for about the first hour or two that I'm watching him, and then I just need to recharge, but he keeps wanting more Mommy time and attention. We have "family play time" from after family dinner at 6 until bed time at 8pm where both parents focus on the kids, but during the long afternoons I'd like to find a way to have some time not directly interacting with him while still meeting his needs.
--Beth
He's wonderful for about the first hour or two that I'm watching him, and then I just need to recharge, but he keeps wanting more Mommy time and attention. We have "family play time" from after family dinner at 6 until bed time at 8pm where both parents focus on the kids, but during the long afternoons I'd like to find a way to have some time not directly interacting with him while still meeting his needs.
--Beth
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Date: 2007-09-13 06:59 pm (UTC)Speaking for myself, anyway, I get energy from interacting with people. I'm told this is typical for extroverts--if Peter is the same way, and you're around, he's going to want to interact with you because it's what makes him feel good. Once he's older, of course, he'll be able to self-entertain when he sees you need a break, but I just don't think 2 year olds have that kind of awareness or capability. When you're done, I'd say you have three options, one of which sounds awful to me: First, you could arrange play dates for each afternoon for an hour or two. (Or even hire a high school student in to play with him--not free, but pretty cheap.) Second, you could provide virtual people to interact with--tv. Third, and this sounds like something I wouldn't be willing to work through, you could start teaching him about Mommy alone time. More work than I'd be up for, but hey! I'm an extrovert. :)
Hope this helps. Now... do you have any advice on what to do with a bored introvert? :)
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Date: 2007-09-14 04:10 am (UTC)Sigh. Yes. That probably is the root of the problem. It's not (yet) developmentally appropriate for him to realize that I need some alone time and give it to me when I ask.
It is most difficult in that it is *me* he wants; we tried hiring a babysitter in the afternoons before he started pre-school, and while that did preserve my sanity long enough to find a pre-school for him, it was not as good as I'd hoped because he kept finding me.
The TV is perhaps a tool I should just use more. He didn't have any at all until he turned two, and sparing amounts (2-3 hrs/month) until Amber was born. After she was born we used it more, but it's one of those things that preserves my sanity in the moment and then leaves me feeling guilty later. He also likes to talk about what he's seeing while he watches. Overall this is a good thing, but I'm still in the room. Maybe I should just ditch the guilt and figure that everyone else is doing it, it' can't be that bad, right? A snappy, exhausted Mommy is worse than dancing alphabet shapes and cookie-eating monsters.
Perhaps working with him to take a little more time to himself, with promised mommy-focused time later as Zathros recommended is the right solution, and may even help the night issues. In fact, this really wouldn't be as much of a problem for me during the days (preschool is great) if Peter would sleep by himself all night.
do you have any advice on what to do with a bored introvert?
Jacob's not in pre-school yet, right? Playdates with other parents are great. At this age the children aren't really expected to play with each other, it's more alongside each other, which is great for introverts. I remember spending hours on the back porch with a can of bubbles listening to my mom talk to other moms/dads through the screen door in the kitchen. In bad weather I did play-doh on the kitchen floor. Setting up something regular is nice if you can find someone to do it with. (We've been missing you on Thursdays BTW. Also Happy New Year.)
PS. What are you working on for work now? Did you decide to do photography or something else?
--Beth